Words Just Simply Aren't Enough
by Girls In White Dresses
Summary: I wake up and I know that it will be one of those days again.


** Sometimes I think that I can never find the right words for Byakuya and Hisana**

**and that I just can't think of any words that completely describe it. I love this pairing so much... There is so much to it and I just thought, really, Byakuya and Hisana are two parts of one whole. They fit together so perfectly and one just isn't the same without the other. Reviews are very much appreciated~! If anyone can tell me how exactly**

**super-cali-fragilistic-expealidocious is spelled, that would be very helpful. Or is there even a proper spelling...?**

**Disclaimer: all recognizable characters belong to Tite Kubo... I will never own Bleach and if the day comes when I somehow do that day will also be the end of humanity. **

* * *

><p>As soon as the warm rays of pale, golden sun flit across my eyes, dancing as a new day begins. As soon as my eyes open and I see a room plunged in bright, blinding, sun, chasing away the shadows of the night. As soon as I stretch my hand out and it simply comes in contact with cold, cotton sheets on the other side of me. And as soon as I realize it will be one of those days again, I smile sadly and wonder how long you've been gone.<p>

You don't trouble me with anything. You say you're fine, and then you smile that smile of yours. I know that we're different. I know I'll never understand. But I wish you would say something- anything-

I hope you know that I'll always be there for you. I hope you know that you can depend on me, because I only want you to be happy. I hope you know that I can try to understand, at least…Don't smile that smile- don't make the corners of your mouth curve upwards in that unbearably faint, wistful, _sad,_ smile. The smile that reminds me that you'll always be forever out of my reach. Don't say you're fine

Because you're not. Don't you know what I feel when I hear you coughing, your whispers becoming breathless and raggedy, and when you struggle to breathe. Tell me you don't see

How much it hurts, for me, too. You say you're fine

I know you're lying.

You don't have to hide anything from me. Don't you know how much I love you? Why don't you ever let me bear some of that pain? I don't need to understand what you're going through. Your eyes are always so _sad, _overflowing with sorrow. I know youtry to hide it, _but_

In all the years I've known you I've never seen you cry. I wish you would let go of some of that pain, some of that darkness. This is not you- so stop pretending. It's no use, you know. Do you really take me for a fool?

And yet I sit here on the bed, just wishing for you to come back. I wish that I could let you know how I feel. It doesn't matter if we're so different…. It doesn't matter what anyone except you thinks. I only care about you… don't you know that?

I've never known that I would feel these emotions. You're the one who changed me- why can't I do anything to help you? I've never known myself to be so powerless. Why can't you just

Let me in? It's always secrets with you. Don't you care how much this is hurting me? Don't you see how my features fall into despair every time I ask you if there's anything I can do, anything at all

You say, _it's nothing. _You say, _I'm fine. _Stop lying to me. Stop pretending. I know you, _Hisana. _I know that you're shattered inside.

The door creaks suddenly and you come in, unexpectedly. Your soft footsteps barely make a sound so if not for the door creaking I would have never heard you. I see you and I know that it will be one of those days again. You move hesitantly, almost afraid. I can see the way you walk so slowly, not wanting to move forward. I can see the dark shadows under your eyes, and the haunted look in them.

You're still the most beautiful person that I will ever have the fortune to meet, inside and out. Beautiful just isn't a strong enough word. Because every time I see you I wonder why my heart feels so funny. I wonder why I can't stop staring. Words just aren't enough to describe you, Hisana.

"Byakuya-sama…? Why are you just staring off into the distance?"

I know you're pretending. I know that we're too different. But don't you see that _I don't care? _I don't care that you have so many scars that will never heal, that you**'**ve seen things that should never be seen. I don't care if you're broken inside. You deserve anything and everything this world has to offer- even then it still won't be enough. You're a "commoner", not "worthy" of me. I wish you could see that none of those things matter in the least. I know that if anything, I'm the one not worthy of you.

I really don't care what other people think. They don't matter at all. It's just you that I think about, it's just you that I'm in love with.

"Byakuya-sama…. "

You tilt you're head to the side, giving me that smile. _That smile._ It's beautiful and sad, just like you. It remains permanently etched into my mind every second, minute, hour, day. I open my mouth and try so hard to make the words form, find the voice to say

You sit down beside me on the bed, and lean into me, resting your head on my shoulder. Your raven black hair falls into your eyes so gracefully and there comes the moment when you look up and your eyes lock with mine. I realize my mouth is still open and I close it quickly. It's all worth it, for these moments. You always make me speechless. You always, I don't know…..

You always just….

It's indescribable, just like everything else about you. I open my mouth and I can't find the words. I can never find the words because you, Hisana

I know we're so different it's uncanny. But you know something….. Every time I look into those stunning eyes of yours the world falls away. I want this moment to last forever…

Why doesn't my voice work?

"Hisana…."

That's the only thing I manage to force out. Your name, so simple and yet the very centre of my universe. I know I'll never fully understand you. But maybe, just maybe….

It's okay to cry, because you won't. So I'll cry for you,Hisana.

Words that go unspoken. It's all worth it in the end. I'll do anything for you, anything at all. I'll walk much more than a thousand miles, I'll put on a rabbit suit, buy you all the Chappy related things in the world—

But most important of all, I'll cry for you, because you won't.

I look into the depths of that gorgeous violet and I think, maybe you know all these things already. Maybe you do know…. But it doesn't matter. As long as I'm with you, as long as I can feel you, the way you lean against me and your gentle breathing. I need you. It doesn't matter, Hisana, because you know me, the real me. I don't need to say anything…. I'll just let the tears slide down my cheeks and let you lean against me in that comforting way.

I'll never be able to say how much I love you

But I think you know that I'm crying for you. Right now I'll simply hope this indescribable moment lasts forever.

"Byakuya-sama, I love you too."

And then you smile, one of your real smiles…. Beautiful, amazing, magnificent, breathtaking, stunning beyond comprehension, _far, far, more than anything I could use to describe- _super-cali-fragilicious-expialidocious-ashkleroierdfasfl. Askdfhak;lerei

And finally, this time, it renders me completely and utterly speechless. Completely and utterly

It would take me forever to find the right words, because… words just simply aren't enough.


End file.
